What Women Dislike In Men
( Originally Published 1892 )
No matter how strong and self reliant a man may be, he likes to know that he is popular with women. He may be able to enjoy himself in a thousand ways without her, yet he is secretly uneasy, if he finds himself outside the pale of her regard.
Some of the most brilliant men the world has known did not know how to please women. They would have been no less great, and far more agreeable had they possessed this faculty.
While there are a variety of tastes in this matter, there are certain things which a man must not do if he would please us.
The very first thing a man should learn is when to go! . I have known a fascinating and charming fellow, who had made an excellent impression, to utterly ruin his chances of pleasing a lady, by pro. longing his call until he wearied her.
It is a dangerous thing to do once; twice it is fatal. Until a woman loves, her patience is easily exhausted, and once impatient with a man for his lack of perception, she never feels the proper respect afterward.
The finest strain of music falls unheeded on the most appreciative ears if played too long; the grandest opera becomes tedious if it lingers througn five long acts; the most entertaining man can prolong his call until he becomes a bore.
A short visit brought to an end at the moment when the lady seems most interested, is a sure way of securing pleasant recollections from her. No matter if she pouts at the brevity of the call, a wise man will not prolong it, but will make his exit with a graceful compliment. Better leave her pouting with pique than sighing with relief.
Neither should a man call too constantly, until he is an affianced lover. He lacks wisdom if he does not allow himself to be missed now and then. I have heard scores of girls speak of some attentive man in this way:
"Oh, he is sure to make himself visible before the day closes! You may be sure he will invent some pretext to call before night."
Triumph and irony, always mingle with pleasure in a woman's tones when she speaks like this.
Let him absent himself for a day or two unexpectedly, and both triumph and irony give way to solicitude. But he should be careful not to make his absence too prolonged. Once let him seem to neglect her, and a woman soon forgets a man with whom she is not wholly in love.
A woman never likes a man who is sarcastic and harsh in his criticisms of other men. It seems always to indicate a lack of confidence in his own worth; in his ability to hold his own against others unless he depreciates them; and the moment a man doubts himself, we doubt him also.
I asked a bevy of bright girls to-day what they most disliked in a man.
Said No. I :
"I dislike to have him make apologies for his dress. A man should never speak of his clothes to a lady."
Said No. 2:
"I dislike to have a man agree with me in everything I say and never offer an amendment.
Said No. 3:
"I dislike a man who makes me do all the entertaining."
Said No. 4:
"I dislike a man who talks on one subject until he exhausts it and me. I want him to change the topic before I am tired of it."
Said No. 5:
"I loathe a man who is afraid of drafts of air, and who is forever fussing about doors and windows, irrespective of other people's comfort."
Said No. 6:
"I detest a cynical man who has no faith in human nature or motives, and who is always talking pessimism."
So now, my dear boys, put this in your pipe and smoke it !