It Is To Laugh

( Originally Published 1922 )

The time set for the party is 8 o'clock, but by 8:15 there are about twenty arrivals instead of the one hundred expected, and they are standing about stiff and formal, politely ready to do anything the program committee asks, so that they may go home feeling virtuous in having done their duty, but dangerously near the attitude of mind that will tempt them, the next time a party is announced, to follow Rebecca's example of "letting duty go to smash !"—all this unless something happens, and that, right away !

At one time we might have met this situation by putting on a simple little game to keep those twenty guests there until the rest of the crowd came, but it was hardly necessary to make that mistake twice to realize the futility of those tactics. Any game is a flat failure that does not call forth a real social spirit and a real play spirit, but that spirit does not just happen. It must be definitely worked for and created through socializing games, while just "fill-ins till the crowd comes" can utterly ruin the prospects for creating that spirit that makes recreation, re-creation. For example, "The Gathering of the Nuts" invariably brings down the house when it is given its right place in an evening's program, but presented at the first of the evening when guests are straggling in, one by one, and there is as yet no relaxation and group spirit, it would inevitably be a dismal failure.

Therefore, instead of putting on some casual stunt just to keep guests from leaving, or just to fill in time till the other guests arrive, we have found it far more advisable to have informal group singing around the piano for the first ten or fifteen minutes, and then begin the evening proper, even if there are only some twenty or thirty guests present, with a game that is very definitely a mixer, the one purpose of which is not so much to entertain as to "socialize," in almost every ease the mixer being some big general movement in which there is a lot of fun and nonsense just like there is in the games that follow later, but with this important difference that every person present is in this first event in some game that pries him loose from the corner he chose on arrival as his abiding place for the evening; a game that gives him an incentive other than a sense of duty for shaking hands vigorously with his fellow guests; a game that makes him feel this party as his own personal responsibility; in short, a game which shows him that he alone counts as nothing, but that he, together with every other guest present, counts for everything.

"Spots" is a splendid example of a mixer that will so thoroughly mix up a group of guests that they never will succeed in getting sorted out again into their original classifications :

Spots.

The leader has chosen seven or eight places in the room as the "spots," and has a list of them at hand.

All of them have been carefully chosen, and she alone knows where they are. Guests are standing about informally when the announcement is made that in about two minutes a whistle will be blown, at which time the couple standing on a certain spot will receive a hand-some reward. At the same time however, anyone seen standing alone will be fined. A partner is essential to winning a prize or to make one immune to a fine. Even if a person is standing on the lucky spot at the time the whistle blows, if he is alone he must pay the fine, one cent.

To promote a general moving around, and to add to the spirit of the game, lively march music is played all the time the guests are supposed to be moving, although no definite line of march is encouraged.

Two additional rules insure the success of "Spots." After the first spot has been found and the prize awarded, the game goes on and another spot in some other part of the room is the lucky one. But no person can have the same partner he had while the first spot was being sought. The same fine of one cent is imposed on any two people who seem to think they have an option on each other.

The same thing is true of location. Anyone found standing in the same place he occupied during the first round, is fined, with much publicity.

The game goes on until the seven or eight spots have been located and the "handsome rewards" given out. All the spots have been chosen with the purpose in mind to get guests absolutely relaxed, thoroughly mixed and free from any stiff formality. That is why a definite line of march would be fatal. Instead, let the first spot be behind the piano; the next on the platform; the next leaning up against a pillar, etc., etc.

To sum up, the rules are as follows:

1. Everyone must have a partner.

2. Partners must be changed for every round.

3. No one is allowed to stand in the same place for two successive rounds.

Four or five so-called "policemen" assist the leader in detecting violators of these rules and much publicity is given the fining of the offenders.

The success of the game depends entirely on the ability of the leader to make her guests feel the great desirability of finding one of those elusive lucky spots. No one knows where they are. All they know is that it behooves them to move, to get a partner, to keep moving, and to keep on getting partners !

Shake Hands!

Now shake hands, everybody, whether you know each other or not. Let's be sociable. Shake hands!

You have heard that before? And immediately you started in to shake hands with friend and foe and foreigner? Hardly. No real incentive is offered there for shaking hands with people you have never seen before or people you see every day of your life, no incentive other than a sense of duty, and a sense of duty is not what one would call particularly successful in promoting the real spirit of sociability which makes a social evening, or the lack of which, breaks it.

It does seem so inane to ask people to shake hands with each other, and yet, if a leader can once get a group to laugh heartily as a group, if she can give them a sufficiently interesting incentive for grasping the hand of a neighbor with real vim and enthusiasm even if it is for the purpose of saving themselves from dire penalties! —they are won and one for the rest of the evening ! But just telling guests to be sociable and to shake hands will not do it.

It is necessary to create a setting and furnish an incentive, and instead of playing on the guest's sense of duty, to play on their sense of humor.

They are invited to shake hands with each other, but are warned that the only handshake allowed is a vigorous side-to-side swing, and are further cautioned that it is fully as great a crime to be seen using the ordinary handshake as it is to be caught not shaking hands at all; that several "policemen" in the crowd will see to it that these laws are enforced; and finally, that any violator of these laws will certainly repent at leisure and in public.

Some ten policemen are chosen, their number of course depending on the size of the group. At a signal the handshaking begins. The policemen are more than vigilant in discharging their duties, and several culprits who were caught standing about "just looking on", and some of the ladies who shook hands in a manner not vigorous enough to suit the policemen, are escorted to the platform, there to sit in the public eye till the leader's whistle stops the frantic, vigorous handshaking, which should be given about five minutes time.

The next game of the evening might well be a hoax, with these culprits used as the victims.

Southpaws.

This is very much like "Shake Hands" in its object and in its rulings. The difference lies in the kind of handshaking permitted. The rule is that the left hand only is to be used in shaking hands. At irregular intervals a whistle is blown and anyone caught not actually shaking the left hand of some other guest at that particular moment is punished in the same way in which culprits in the game "Shake Hands ! " are taken care of.

Of course there are policemen, whose one object in life is to catch someone napping, or a bit negligent in the evidence he gives of a very active and left-handed spirit of sociability !

My Virtues!

"Mrs. Kalen, let me present Mr. Black."

"Mrs. Frummly, have you met Mr. Stewart?" and so on, world without end ! This, at a large gathering, the one object of which is to get members of a community to really know each other ! And at that, if it were possible for the hosts to see that every guest was introduced to every other guest, would even that do a great deal toward helping members of a community to know each other, other than to have spoken one another's names? Put a human and socializing element in those introductions, and they will know more about each other than just names, and what's more, they'll like each other!

The men form one line and the women another, all of them facing the front of the room. When the music starts the men march down one side of the room to the back, and the women down the other. They meet and take partners as they come in the line of march, coming up the center of the room with their ,partners. When they reach the front, all couples march to the right, forming a large double circle around the room. The leader then makes an announcement to the effect that in order to make sure that everyone knows all the virtues of his fellow guests, splendid opportunities will be given for the flaunting of those virtues. Partners face each other, shake hands, introduce themselves, and then, with hands on hips, begin telling all the nice things they know about themselves, real or imaginary.

The only difficulty is that they have to do it at the same time, which makes it hard occasionally for one's partner to hear about all the lovely qualities one possesses or aspires to possess! They are given just a minute for this when another whistle is blown which is a signal for the men only to walk forward until a second whistle stops them. The woman nearest them is their next partner. They shake hands with these new partners, and one's virtues again become the topic of importance.

This continues for not more than five minutes. That will be enough!

Is it necessary to say that next day, when Mrs. Kalen meets Mr. Black at the bank, that she doesn't wonder, "Have I _ever met that man before?" Rather, it, is, "Why, good morning, Mr. Black ! Are you still the perfect man you thought yourself last night?"

Prohibited Words.

We have used over and over again the game in which certain words are prohibited, but we used it as a game that had a definite time limit. It has proved far more effective to put a ban on those words for the entire evening. Perhaps these words are "Yes" and "No," or "You" and "I." 'All through the evening those words are forbidden. Anyone heard using them pays a fine to the one who caught him making that social error.

At each offense a fine of one candy or one bean or one of whatever thing is used as the means of exchange, is exacted from the one who made the error. This means of exchange may depend on the season. On Valentine Day it might be little candy hearts in small bags; at Easter, little candy eggs; or at Christmas, tiny bright red candies. However, just plain beans may be used, a small bag being provided in which to carry them.

Perhaps you think that if candy is used, your guests may eat their means of exchange before the evening is half over. Warn them against it. Then, at the end of the evening, just before the last game, ask for a count of their "money," and as it happens, "To him that hath shall be given." The richest one is given additional riches in the shape of a box of candy, with the assurance that he need not open it till he gets home ! The ten who made the most lapses and consequently have the least money, and those who ate most of their money, are obliged to give up any they still hold and to sit on the platform as the infant class while their brighter and less greedy brothers and sisters march past them, munching their candy !

It is easy enough to remember not to say "Yes" or "No" to anyone, when that is the particular game of the moment, but to have to remember not to use those words through all the nonsense of the evening is a slightly different matter. Another very good phase of this game as a mixer is that it gives a real incentive for people to talk to each other, even if they have never seen one another before all for the sake of a bean!

Gossip.

A circle is formed, with from three to six people iii the center, their number to be determined by the size of the circle. Guests are warned that it is the object of these people in the center to get out of it, and that the only way they can do it is to get someone else in, in their place; that their method of doing this is very effective, and that it behooves every last one of them to learn the name and occupation of his neighbor on either side, together with one juicy bit of gossip concerning him.

At a signal from the leader, each one of the people in the center turns around, snaps his fingers at some per-son who did not expect it, and asks this victim to instantly give all the required information about both of his neighbors. If he fails, into the center he goes, changing places with the person who caught him nap-ping.

The neighbor is supposed to offer the juicy bit of gossip himself, but sometimes his imagination fails him, or his egotism overcomes him, and it is up to the victim pointed at to use his own imagination. Therefore it is not unusual to have the following information shouted out by an excited victim who fears a place in the center: "My right hand neighbor's name is The Minister; his occupation is ministering and he has been in jail four times ! "

AU the others in the center have been asking for information at the same time and after a minute or two the leader calls out, "Change your neighbors!" and everyone is to find a new set of neighbors for himself. A great deal of publicity and a place in the center is promised anyone who does not get into a new neighbor-hood!

This game is played not more than five minutes, for with such an incentive all guests will know each other intimately long before five minutes are over!

It Pays to Advertise.

As each guest comes in the door he is given a slip of paper on which is written a number. When all the guests have arrived the leader asks all "tens" to congregate at the piano, while "threes" get together in one corner, "fives" in another, etc. etc. As the different groups assemble the leader goes rapidly from one group to another, and reading from her list, assigns each group some advertisement which they are to dramatize. A few impromptu properties such as a shrunken sweater, candles, newspapers, and crackers, are available.

After the four or five minutes allowed for preparation, each group in turn dramatizes the advertisement as-signed it, and must continue action until the audience guesses correctly what advertisement is being represented. To avoid the situation which often develops when such a contest is on, an announcement is made to the effect that there is to be no guessing until the actors have completed their stunt. Then if there is no correct guess, the dramatization must begin again and continue until it is made so realistic that the audience guesses what it is in self-defense, or else gives up in dismay !

The following suggestions may be helpful:

1. Ivory Soap. "It Floats." Members of the group go flitting about the stage as though they were walking on air, waving their arms and in general acting in ethereal fashion.

2. Eversharp. Riddles which have been prepared beforehand are put to a class by the teacher. The class having been thoroughly drilled in the answers, respond with a snap and a brilliancy that amazes the audience l

3. Uneeda Biscuit. Let them pantomime exhaustion, plainly showing by their actions that they are starved. A doctor rushes in, makes them stick out their tongues, (which they do with artistic effect), sing up the scale, blow up their cheeks, holding them that way indefinitely, close one eye, etc. In short, he carefully diagnoses the case, after which he swells up with pride at having found what the trouble was. He dashes to his bag, takes out a box of crackers, and makes each patient eat one, whereupon they all hop around, exhibiting marvelous life and enthusiasm, apparently cured for life.

4. Blue Jay Corn Plaster. The men of the group take the part of the blue jays, blue because of aching corns which they indicate by a mournful expression and painful hobbling around. The "jay" element is taken care of by tousled hair and disheveled clothing. They give evidence of considerable pain, which evidence grows louder and louder until the women of the group come dashing in as nurses, with handkerchiefs or pieces of white cloth bound about their heads. They inquire in pantomime about the cause of such evident trouble and having learned it, bind up the entire foot of the patient, thereby making life again worth living for the "Blue Jays."

5. Whistle. It speaks for itself.

6. Bon Ami. The men come running in with smudges on their faces, followed in great haste by the ladies, who are very evidently trying to catch them. Finally they succeed and holding their victims firmly by the shoulders, with handkerchiefs as instruments of torture they pantomime a vigorous face-scrubbing, polishing the face as they would a window. When they have finished, they view the results with much satisfaction, while their victims pantomime the discomfort they undoubtedly feel.

7. Pears' Soap. All the members of a group are "paired" off and either wander about in pairs or busily wash each others' faces, always in pairs.

8. Colgate's Toothpaste. "Lies flat on the brush." A man appears, throws a hairbrush on the floor and lies down "flat upon it."

9. Wool Soap. A large lady whose arms are sticking through the sleeves of a white sweater many sizes too small for her, looks tragically at the result of there having used Wool Soap, while the rest of the group go into spasms of mirth at the picture she presents.

10. Fiske Tires. "Time to Retire." All the members of this group file stumblingly across the stage, each one carrying a candle and yawning, and looking so irresistibly sleepy that everyone in the audience yawns just to look at them !

With some groups it will not be necessary to provide advertisements, and it will be sufficient to announce that each group is to think of its own and that a prize will be given to the most original stunt, but with the average group it is very helpful to have either a list of advertisements at hand, together with properties, or to be sure that in each group there is someone who can be depended upon to take the initiative for that group in putting on a really effective stunt. I speak from experience !

Limited Conversation.

Perhaps you are responsible for the "socializing" of a very large group, most of the guests being strangers to each other, and you wish to break the ice and to get guests into the spirit that makes for easy and truly social conversation.

To announce certain topics of conversation and ask that everyone talk on just those topics with one's neighbors in such a group as has just been described, often has an effect that is more tongue-tieing than socializing in its effect, and a human kink must be put into the plan to make it really effective in getting your guests into the relaxed and jovial spirit that does wonders with a group, however large or "strange."

A list of topics for conversation is made out as usual, but a ruling is added that makes conversation on these topics far more difficult and therefore far more interesting than just plain conversation which is very evidently for the purpose of "mixing up" a strange group. That ruling might be that every statement must be the very opposite of what one really thinks about the question of the moment. For example, the question may be, "Do you believe in Woman Suffrage?" According to the ruling, no matter how thoroughly a man despises the thought of Woman Suffrage, he is obliged to vehemently defend it, and no matter how ardent a suffragette his immediate neighbor may be, she is to scorn it with every breath.

After a minute or two the next topic is announced. It might be "What do you like best?" and everyone is to pick upon the thing he most dislikes and eulogize it to the best of his ability. That same ruling applies to all the six or seven topics announced, and to say the least, startling statements are the result, to say nothing of the hilarity that is inevitable over a conversation with the Baptist minister's wife who vows that picking potato bugs is her favorite pastime !

This group is a large one, so no effort is made to pair guests off with partners but topics are announced, together with the ruling that one's immediate neighbors are one's partners, and that guards will patrol the room to see that no one talks on any subject but the one announced, to see that everyone is talking, and that the limitation imposed is very strictly observed. To make sure that they talk to more than one person the guests are asked to change their immediate neighborhoods between topics. The breaking of any of these rules calls for a forfeit.

If one is entertaining a small group in a home, a progressive system of partners is arranged, by which guests progress from one partner to another. Each one is given a card on which a number is written, ladies holding even numbers and men, odd. On the men's cards in addition, is written their conversation program, namely, the numbers of the partners they are to have for the different topics of conversation, and it is their business to hunt up each new partner as the signal for the change is given. For example, Mr. Hunt is No. 5. His program reads : 6, 8, 2, 12, 4, 10. That means that for the first topic his partner is to be No. 6 and that when the game starts he is to hunt her up and talk earnestly with her on the first topic. A bell is rung after about two minutes and he must hunt up No. 8 and talk with her about the second topic, and so he progresses from one partner to another until he has talked with his last partner on the last topic.

Another limitation which may be applied to conversation is that all statements must contain one's own initials. The question may be, "What is your favorite sport ? " Mr. Graham's initials are S. M. G. so his favorite sport is obliged to be, "Selling moldy groceries!"

Still another limitation may be that all remarks be untruths. A further limitation, and a painful one, but one which is particularly good for a small crowd, is that all statements must be made in rhyme, no matter how inevitably abominable the rhyming may be !

Topics may include any possible subject, from current events to modes of dress. The following list is typical:

1. What is your favorite sport?

2. Do you believe in Protective Tariff?

3. Will bobbed hair stay with us?

4. Who is your favorite poet?

5. What is your occupation?

6. What do you like best to eat?

7. What would you like to be?

A period of two or three minutes is given for each conversation. The whole affair should last not longer than from fifteen to twenty minutes. You will find that that will be plenty long enough ! Imagine a period not longer than that for a conversation on the above topics, carried on in rhyme !

The following are the answers given by the principal of the High School at a church party in a Middle West town:

1. "To ride a big fat elephant has always been my favorite stunt."

2. "I'd hate to have you think I'm rude, but what. is it, a breakfast food?"

3. "I really don't profess to know, but I hope to goodness it will go."

4. "Walt Mason is my favorite poet, he's got the goods and he can show it."

5. "I am a banker brave and bold; I grab the cash and keep it cold."

6. "Most everything's what I like best ; to get enough, there lies the test."

7. "I'd like to be a billionaire and make the whole world stand and stare."

Holidays.

The question as to their birthmonths is asked of the guests, and they are grouped together accordingly, the Januarys over behind the piano, the Junes at the rear entrance, etc. etc. Each group is then asked to dramatize a holiday of the month it represents. No properties have been made available as this is to be distinctly an impromptu affair. They are all given about ten minutes for preparation, and then they are called on, one by one, to do their stunts. They are not called by name however, but by "location." For example, the first group called on might be the one in the bay window, and the next, the one in the dining room.

When each group has finished its stunt, and only then, the audience is to guess what holiday they represent, and if the guesses are incorrect, the stunt must he repeated.

The following list of holidays has been found to work to good advantage.

1. January—New Year.

2. February—Washington's birthday.

3. March—St. Patrick's Day.

4. April—April Fool's Day.

5. May—May Day.

6. June—Anybody's Wedding.

7. July—July Fourth.

8. August—Mr. Ribbon Clerk's Vacation.

9. September—Labor Day.

10. October—Hallowe'en.

11. November—Thanksgiving.

12. December—Christmas.

Bag Handshake.

Each guest is given a paper bag which is to be put on his right hand. He is to shake hands with everyone in sight, the bag being an indicator of how zealous he has been in his efforts ! As soon as it is worn out he may rest in peace, but not until then.

The Little Theater.

The plan of "Holidays" is used over and over with different "motives." One of them is musical. The words of a song like "Yankee Doodle" are written out on separate slips which are numbered alike. They might all be numbered. "1." The second song might be "Dixie," and its words are similarly written out on slips and numbered "2." Each guest is given a number and is asked to find all others who have the same number. When everyone has found his or her group they are to have just a very few minutes in which to practice their song. When the time is up the leader calls out each group in turn and asks them to sing their song, at the same time putting enough dramatic action into their performance to really get the motive of the song across! The group which the. judges agree on as best gets a bag of peanuts.

Dressing Up.

There is nothing like "dressing up" to make a crowd relax and laugh. Therefore, with a large group of guests, most of them strangers to one another, use caps and bells for as successful a mixer as you could desire. Fancy paper caps can be bought very inexpensively when bought in quantity, and the same is true of tiny bells. Each guest is provided with a little bell which has a string attached by which to hang it around his neck, and also one of these foolish paper caps. They are all asked to put on both bells and caps and to keep them on all evening.

A crowd of guests thusly adorned looks foolish enough to furnish entertainment for a long, long time!

Circle Handshake.

It is good psychology to have a genuine mixer at the end of the evening as well as at the beginning. After the last game, the guests form a circle. The leader asks the one standing nearest the door to shake hands with his right-hand neighbor, and then to continue shaking hands all the way around the circle, telling each one "Good-night" until he has gone completely around, after which he drops out of the circle. At the same time however, all the others are beginning to do the same thing. He had no sooner finished shaking hands with his right-hand neighbor and gone on to the next one and then on to the next, than this same right-hand neighbor began doing the same thing, shaking the hand of his neighbor to the right, and so on around the circle.

Each one does the same thing, that is, after No. 2 has passed No. 3, No. 3 starts immediately to shake hands around the circle, and as soon as he passes No. 4, No. 4 does the same thing.