Ideal Sexual Life For Maximum Health

( Originally Published 1940 )

AGING would not be a necessary phenomenon, if in the life-history of the cell there was not always a slight disproportion between wear and regeneration.

Fertilisation and the beginning of a new individual only succeed if all the conditions are favourable. For this reason every individual begins his life with a good store of energy. In the first half of our life, the power of regeneration is more than equal to the wear and tear, so that in our youth each muscular effort leads to an increase of strength, and after a wound or a broken bone has healed, it is stronger than before the accident. But in the latter half of our life the unfavourable influences outweigh the others, and every great effort and all kinds of damage or injury leave a little deficit behind. This disproportion constantly increases, because our strength constantly decreases, until at last the decline can no longer be denied.

This decline is compensated or even more than compensated for a certain length of time, because the older we grow the more experience we possess; but there comes a time when the limit is reached.

The first of our systems to betray a decline is the sensory one, because it is here that the most delicate workings of cell-life find their expression. The sensitiveness of feelings no longer increases from day to day, as was the case when we were young; on the contrary, our impressions become more nebulous and indefinite, something like the impressions obtained from a worn-out zinc block. On that account strong excitement should be avoided in our youth, so that we may long remain young. But when we become very old, all our nerve-cells are worn out.

We generally notice this dulling first of all in our memory; very often quite early, before anyone else suspects it. And it is very curious; it is not our earliest impressions that fade first; on the contrary, these gradually come to occupy our memory entirely; for in those early days we still enjoyed full sensitiveness. It is the later impressions of quite recent events that are so feebly felt, that they leave no trace in our memory. If one were only old enough, one would begin to forget everything, to lose everything, and to neglect everything.

And very soon it affects our finer sensory organs, which we have overworked every day of our lives; the clearness of our sight and sharpness of hearing often show signs of diminution quite early,

But even our sexual apparatus, which is the last to develop, does not escape the dawn of gradual decline in the course of time, sexually, one becomes less sensitive, and the secretory function diminishes its activity. Whether we wish it or not, sexual intercourse, or if we are unmarried, nocturnal emissions, become less frequent, and at the same time our breathing and circulation less vigourous. Finally there are no more spontaneous emissions during sleep: a sign that the sexual urge has ceased to be as imperative as it was at the prime of life.

The diminution of the sexual urge may occur quite early. And just as the first appearance of sexual, maturity was a mile-stone in our life, when our life-curve ascended (see chapter 61), the first failure of this function is also an important mile-stone, but this time on the downward grade. These two events may be compared to the opening of a flower-bud and the fading of the over-blown flower.

Who does not remember the first time in his married life, when he thought, after a tiring day or a lot of worry, that he would like to have connection, and then he found it difficult to get an erection... but of course after a long absence or the usual period of rest it would be all right ... and then he found for the first time that it was physiologically impossible for him to carry out his intention. After all, just for once it did not matter, and we were then young enough to quickly wipe out the slur, yet it was a first warning that we had to remember later on.

However, before we go more deeply into this new life-period, let us define a little more precisely the notion of sexual old-age. Once upon a time, when we looked on procreation as the main object in the sexual life (chapter 23), and only considered sexual enjoyment as something quite secondary, old age could only be defined thus : "He is old, who can no longer reproduce his kind."

This notion was specially derogatory to the wife, for she indeed loses her fecundity at a time of life when she is otherwise in full vigor, and sexually is still very excitable. But now we look upon this stage of her life as her second youth, free from the unpleasantness of menstruation and the risk of pregnancy? But we do not call a woman old until her sexuality is entirely extinguished, because we know how greatly this reacts on her entire physical and psychical constitution.

We shall now trace the history of the husband in his married life a little more in detail. At first, when he was newly married, the intercourse with his chosen bride was his greatest delight and charm. Then a little later, when they had become more used to each other, he still felt it much more beneficial, easier and more soothing than intercourse with strange women could ever be; and the older a couple grows the more they allow each other the repose that their age requires.

At last the time arrives when ordinary marital intercourse possesses too little charm to make it worth while to go to so much trouble, all the more as it may happen again, that our skill deserts us just at the critical moment; and we are not yet too old to feel ashamed for our failure, even if only in our own wife's presence. Abstinence is often very greatly encouraged by all sorts of accidental influences, such as coolness on the part of the wife, a cold bed, complicated contraceptive preparations for coitus 2; and even sleeping apart in twin-beds is often a deterrent at this age.

Attempts at intercourse with other women, which at least have the charm of novelty, will be perhaps still less successful. And it will no longer be expected of him, that is, not by his former mistresses; they will poke fun at him now, and call him a played-out old man. And so gradually and imperceptibly we reach the years when we no longer need coitus, and of our own accord choose celibacy. One man reaches this stage very early in life, another much later; there are wide differences. Abstinence is not at first absolute, and it very often happens that from habit one ventures to indulge in sexual intercourse now and again, but only exceptionally.

Thus it can no longer be denied that such a person has arrived at the period of life which we mentioned at the end of Chapter 57: the sexual urge is still pleasant, and its disappearance is felt to be a disappointment.

One should riot complain of this. It is nonsense to run to a doctor at this age on account of loss of sexual power to ask him to make one younger. Even if the power could be entirely restored, the fact that it has sunk so low, gives us in itself the physiological proof that such disturbing emotions are to be avoided for the future. This increase of blood-pressure and this powerful stimulation of the central nervous system, which are both so important to the adult man in the prime of life for the development of his full life-energy, are really in old age most dangerous and may perhaps cause premature strokes of paralysis and degeneration of the brain.

Henceforward one chooses gentler excitements and less exacting sexual sensations, as a feeble echo of the sexual urge that was once so overpowering.

And it is much worse if the sexual impulse does not decrease with age, while satisfaction is still felt as too great a tax on the nerves. This is not at all a rare occurrence, because many people are only able to retire late in life. And just because one is old, one has such a desire for strong emotions-if one could only bear them. And then instead of husbanding his strength, many a man squanders it, either by a marriage with someone quite young, which he does not long survive, or in all kinds of dissipation, which ruins him completely. For it should not be forgotten that the sexuality of elderly men is almost more dangerous than that of young people. A young man, who still has to fight his way through life, will at least stop to think before committing a foolish act; but when a man is old, his self-control only too readily deserts him, and he finds himself unexpectedly in the midst of a conflagration that he thought already extinguished, because the watchman had gone home.

And for these reasons sexually excited elderly persons may be very dangerous for younger ones, because they are so blase, that they require so many of the more violent stimulations which are not only distasteful and repellent to young people, but also really injurious on account of the danger of psychic contamination and exposure to seduction and debauchery.

Medical aid can be efficacious only if this stage of relative impotence happens early, when the doctor can prescribe regular habits and avoidance of excessive strain, and especially of mental strain, so that Nature may be able to gradually restore the disturbed equilibrium. The patient always thinks that the absence of the sexual urge is the primary cause of his psychical depression, whereas in reality it is almost always psychical strain or grave bodily exhaustion that is the cause of premature age. It would therefore be most unwise to prescribe aphrodisiacs; on the contrary, one should be content for the time being to avoid all sexual excitation as well as to practice self-control as explained in Part III. And on that account, especially at an advanced age, operative intervention which (even if only for a short time) restores the power of erection through the reintroduction of organochemical substance (see chapter 4) on Steinach's principle, should he avoided. And every waste of strength only makes matters worse. Only rest, and especially sexual rest, can bring relief.

If one has quite given up the regular practice of coitus due to advanced age, one may still feel The sexual urge from time to time, either during sleep or when half awake,(3) not, of course, so imperiously as in former years, but rather as a welcome sensation.

One still experiences the blessings of voluptuous feelings with their periodical congestions of the circulation and their psychical stimulation; but only in a milder form, something like a rejuvenescence without fatigue. These are the lovely days of sweet September that are so restful after mid-summer heat.

Now we can more easily understand the correspondence between this life-period and our adolescence, to which we have referred above. For then, in that first transition-period, although we had no sexual connection, the sexual urge delighted us, and at the time, just as much as now, the avoidance, as far as possible, of all powerful sexual excitement was indicated. And how greatly we developed our energy during those years! Now this second transition-period may be regarded as a renewal of youth, by means of which our riper experience of life, and our more mature judgment can bear the finest fruit. In the early days we used our experience for our own further development, and now we use it for the public good in the widest sense.

At last, with the passage of years, we reach the final period of our life, when no congestion of the circulation occurs either day or night, either spontaneously or through any exciting cause; the disintegrating stage, in which the pangs of old age make themselves felt more and more.