The Science Of Sex Attraction And The Art Of Courtship

( Originally Published 1940 )

The power of sexual attraction is so great that Darwin made a separate study of sexual selection, and considered it as a special variety of natural selection. In the wild state the male goes to all kinds of trouble to attract the female and win her for himself. The lower animals do not possess such perfect means of subjugation as man, and the female can always refuse either by running away or by some abnormal position, and so the male must try to win her over with affection. Thus in the animal world it is the male who displays the lures: gay colours, song, dramatic courtship, and above all, strength and energy which will give him the victory over all the other suitors.

It must have been thus in the dawn of human life too. It was the man who appeared regularly with gifts to ensure himself a good reception in a friendly group. But when marriage by capture had become the custom, these steps were no longer necessary; all that was necessary was to fight to the death and carry off the prize.

But in the course of time he found it wiser to escape all these evil chances and all the feuds arising therefrom-we may remember the ten-years Trojan war for the sake of the ravished Helen-by the preliminary payment of an equivalent tribute, first as compensation, later as purchase-price; perhaps a pair of good horses or a few oxen.

It is remarkable that in the course of the centuries the purchase price of a wife has constantly diminished! And now it has been reduced to a free gift, as though to increase the ceremonial festivity, or even simply gifts for the affianced bride which she brings back when married.

Indeed it has now gone so far that the parents think themselves lucky if they find somebody who will look after their daughter so that they willingly give a trousseau or a dowry with her. And this dowry must not be small either. And then the young husband is perhaps so obliging as to put up with the prospect of a legacy, so that he may settle down on his wife's parents' property. But at the present time all this is insufficient, and even prior to the great war one half the marriageable women remained single.

In contrast with former times, it is now the woman who must employ all kinds of lures to attract a suitor, and she practices the same lures as those used by the males in the animal world: 1 gay clothes, a little music, graceful manners, and last but not least that key to all doors: money!

Whence comes this depreciation?

Apart from her sexual charm, the principal value of woman originally lay in her capacity for work, and secondly her fruitfulness as a mother. In this chapter we will only refer to her working capacity.

It is well known that in uncivilised countries the hardest and most tiresome work devolves on woman; it is equally well known that in the course of time, as milder manners came to prevail, woman, partly because of her slighter build, has gradually been spared the heavier work, and her efforts have been directed to less difficult and lighter tasks, the importance of which was not really so great. Besides there were always plenty of women to be had for this sort of work, so why should they be valued or well paid?

The prettier girls were especially relieved of all heavy work, and finally became courtesans, and so gradually idleness and self-adornment became the typical ideal of many women.

Indeed many women who work terribly hard in their own homes, dress up when they go out so as to appear as if they do nothing at all. Many ladies who go shopping have even the smallest parcels sent home. And many a one, instead of being pleased when the baker and the milkman deliver the bread and milk at her door so early in the morning-necessities that woman once had to get for herself, milking the cow at dawn and heating the oven overnight-is now only cross because both the worthy tradesmen ring and wake her up so early in the morning. Happy indeed is the husband whose wife does not squander everything through her vanity and neglect. Can we then wonder, if depreciation has occurred?

Fortunately nowadays the tide is turning again, and woman showed her value during the war. Woman is awakening and shaking her golden chains; she is no longer willing to be a petted slave or a bird in a golden cage. She wants to have a mind of her own, and to be free to marry the man of her choice. Even the young girl seeks to earn her own living! She wants to be able to feel independent under all circumstances and not to let her brothers keep her after her parents' death; which perhaps they are not at all anxious to do either. And if she marries and one day her husband falls ill, she will be able to provide for the household and take care of him and the children.

And when the time comes for her to marry, she will be able to do so from inclination and affection, not merely in order to have a roof over her head. She brings her education and her training as her dowry, and consequently she can teach her children better when they are well, and nurse them better when they are sick. She is her husband's companion; but there is a division of labour, and each one of the partners has his own individuality. This is far better than it used to be, when all the women of the village dressed alike, thought alike and talked alike-if they ever really thought when they talked.