From Group Relations To Private Affairs

( Originally Published 1940 )

I have already observed that the sexual life was formerly intimately associated with the social organisation of the system. But we have now become, especially under the influence of Roman Law, such confirmed individualists that we can scarcely imagine at the present time what that means. And even if we read about it, it seems still more obscure, for from a sense of decency we always speak of "group-marriage" and this term seems to us to be something contradictory. For we scarcely know of any other marriage than the various forms which have developed from the custom of stealing the bride, and they are all intended to be wholly individual.

The group-relation, however, originated in far earlier times, and even existed among animals. The reader will doubtless remember that allusion in Chapter 43 to the shoal of fish in the sunny sheltered corner of the pool, swimming so close together that they rub each other's sides for a long time, and all mutually pro-vide each other with sexual satisfaction. This is indeed sexual communism in its purest form, because the fish know no individual intercourse; but it is just because of its simplicity that this example is so illustrative of the principle.

And man also, defenceless as he is when isolated, must first have lived in groups in which the members either sprang from one mother or from one grand-mother, i.e., in groups really composed of blood-relations; groups which constantly split up into new groups, as soon as the original group after a few generations became too numerous to be able to find food for all the members in one single place of residence.

At first, of course, there was no generally valid law to regulate sexual intercourse, and originally, like everything else, it differed in different tribes, according to their particular requirements and their traditional habits and customs. But sexual intercourse appears to have usually been restricted to persons of similar age; so that sexual intercourse between parents and their children was excluded from the first. Of such relations nothing remains at the present time but a few scattered mythological legends as reminiscences.

Historically and ethnographically, however, we now know only periods and tribes in which sexual intercourse between members of the same group was stigmatised as incestuous. Thus it appears as if, even in those days, too many children in one's own group were no longer desired; and in this connection there were also other interests to be considered. If members of friendly groups. hoped to have sexual intercourse with another group, they would bring gifts. There was never any question of gifts within one's own group, for there everything was common property. So a love affair in which the wooers brought gifts was naturally far more distinguished and respectable, and also more advantageous for the group, because the gifts were not presented to individuals, but to the tribe as a whole. So it is easy to understand why unions between members of the same group were early discouraged, and soon expressly forbidden. Once this became a custom, the natural selection of the breed favoured this exogamous tendency, for it produced a much more energetic and vigorous race than if interbreeding took place within the group without any kind of effort.

But men did not change their habitation on account of love affairs; each one spent the whole of his life in the same house and farmhouse in which he was born. If he moved away he was obliged to leave behind all that he possessed. If the day's hunting had been successful, and it was a fine night and the moon was shining, he would slip over to one of the friendly groups with a portion of the booty. Here the gift of game would be the best introduction to ensure a hearty welcome, not only from the male members of the group, but also from their sisters;, he would have no particular preference beforehand as to which of the sisters he would choose. So this was a group relation, not only for the girl, but for the young man also. For if one man was recognised as a regular visitor, then all his brethren were also welcomed as wooers. The gift was not an individual one either, but from one whole group to another.

This unsophisticated and natural method of procedure gradually evolved to a well organised social system which as such is termed "the tribal or group system," and as a sexual system, "the matriarchate." The children live with their mothers and mothers' brothers, or with the grandmothers and their brothers, i.e., the family descends through the female line. The man seeks sexual intercourse outside the family group; as is often the case in the country even now, where the young man spends only the night in his sweetheart's house. On that account I have hesitated to speak of marriage in this case, because it is really only what we call a regular liaison.

But the more the man showed in the course of time a personal attachment for a woman and her children, in preference to his sisters' children at home, the more the relation became individualised, so that as long as it satisfied both parties, it resembled our marriage to some extent. So they came, first as an exception and then as the custom, to live together for short periods, but the husband always as his wife's guest and within her group.

Gradually, however, through frequent changes of locality, and from, the exercise of various trades, which led to a division of interests, the feeling of solidarity in the group of blood-relations became more and more undermined; and finally the common family name was often the only remaining sign of the blood-relationship.

Thus the whole group system gradually disappeared. In the course of time it has been forced to give way to a more individual organisation, in which the community no longer depends on blood-relationship, but includes all the families who live in the same spot. Nor is the family composed as formerly of blood relatives living together, but of an individually chosen sex companionship.